Special Edition: Memorial Day....Heroes & How We Honor Them
... How do we honor the fallen and continue the work of justice?
“Have a fun holiday!” the cashier smiled as I checked out yesterday.
“You too!” I replied.
But by the time I got to the car, I wondered: How could I/we improve on our Memorial Day holiday exchanges?
And I’d love your thoughts on this.
Like many Americans, I didn’t learn this history in school.
I mean, I knew that Memorial Day was a holiday, that it had to do with military service, that there were parades and picnics. But I didn’t know why, or how, it originated.
In fact, I didn’t learn the genesis or significance of Memorial Day until I began researching the story of Robert Smalls, which of course led me to a deep dive into the history of the American Civil War. This under-sung hero, Robert Smalls changed all of our lives in big ways and most of us don’t know it. (Learn more here: Robert Smalls and Public Education)
And he changed my life in very specific ways, including my education regarding Decoration Day, now known as Memorial Day.
The Genesis of Memorial Day
Originally called Decoration Day, from the early tradition of decorating graves with flowers, wreaths and flags, Memorial Day is a day for remembrance of those who have died in service to our country. It was first widely observed on May 30, 1868 to commemorate the sacrifices of Civil War soldiers, by proclamation of Gen. John A. Logan of the Grand Army of the Republic, an organization of former Union sailors and soldiers.
And:
The Civil War, which ended in the spring of 1865, claimed more lives than any conflict in U.S. history and required the establishment of the country’s first national cemeteries.
By the late 1860s, Americans in various towns and cities had begun holding springtime tributes to these countless fallen soldiers, decorating their graves with flowers and reciting prayers.
It is unclear where exactly this tradition originated; numerous different communities may have independently initiated the memorial gatherings. And some records show that one of the earliest Memorial Day commemoration was organized by a group of formerly enslaved people in Charleston, South Carolina less than a month after the Confederacy surrendered in 1865.
That very first Decoration Day took place in Charleston, SC, where Smalls liberated himself and 15 others in a daring escape to freedom in 1862.
After the war, Beaufort joined other communities in remembering the fallen soldiers who had given themselves for the cause of freedom.
In Trouble the Water, based on Smalls’ heroic life and legacy, I imagined what he might have said as the community gathered in the National Cemetery:
Decoration Day 1868, Beaufort, SC
General Logan had proposed this day of observance, noting that every city, town, and hamlet in the country had lost fathers and sons, brothers and husbands. General James Garfield was giving a speech at the Arlington cemetery the same hour, and he said I was the obvious man to say a few words in Beaufort. After the drum and bugle corps played “America,” a formal gun salute honored the dead. I found it difficult to speak; the words caught in my throat as I named the loss and cost of the great battles.
I’d lost more than a few friends, and had heard the names of hundreds, thousands more…. And now, on this bright May morning, I recognized that old sensation of straddling two worlds, the wondrous and hard-won life of freedom and the undeniable price of it, evidence of life and reminders of death everywhere.
“My fellow citizens. We stand this morning on holy ground, among heroes. These brave men died that we might live; they gave themselves to the great cause of freedom. They were heroes indeed, and yet they were more! These were our sons and our fathers, brothers and husbands and neighbors. None of us have escaped the pain and tears of grief, the empty darkness of loss, the silence of their absence. All of us owe them a debt which can never be repaid, and yet we must never cease to return their courage with courage, their valor with valor, their sacrifice with sacrifice. They would tell us, I believe, to always stand on the side of truth and justice, to choose—even at great cost—the pearls of reconciliation, and to pursue equality for every child of God! We honor them best by giving ourselves—fully and faithfully—to the cause of liberty and justice for all!”
“Words are only words,” I continued, straining to keep my own emotions in check as I spoke, slowly. “And today words mean very little unless we choose to live in a way that makes our words the very accounting of our lives. My friends, this will be a difficult task, and a long one. I implore you, on behalf of this great cloud of silent witnesses who we remember and honor this day, choose to live in a way that preserves that for which they died. Choose! Choose liberty, and choose justice – for all.”
Yes, Monday is a federal holiday, and some people will be boating and beaching and picnicking and doing “holiday things” and taking advantage of 20% off whatever is on sale - all across the country.
But others - many others - will be missing the mom or brother or aunt or son or dad or neighbor or best friend who went out to serve, and didn’t come home. They will be remembering. And they will be grieving. And all the boats and beers and barbecues on the planet won’t ease the pain.
So I wonder – maybe you’d consider taking a moment to think about the sacrifices and losses, and maybe even offer a bit of support?
Here’s one option for making a difference: Gary Sinise Foundation Snowball Express (This is one among many options; it’s a personal favorite because Sinise was here in Beaufort last February when the Beaufort Film Festival celebrated the 30th Anniversary of Forrest Gump. Sinise was honored with the Pat Conroy Lifetime Achievement Award for his work with surviving spouses, guardians, and children of fallen heroes.)
AND, always and most importantly: We must never forget that brave men and women GAVE THEIR LIVES for our freedoms. And we indeed owe them a debt that can never be repaid — but it can be honored by continuing to do the hard and courageous work of justice. For all.
And the work is not yet done.
I saw a post yesterday where a restaurant set one empty table with a plate, glass, silverware, and a red, white, and blue napkin, for The Missing Soldier. If more places did something like that, it would remind people what this holiday is really about. We could even set an empty place at our own tables.