"What if, what if, what if...?"
... On the other hand, what IF??
What if?
What if this is the wrong turn
the wrong tune
the wrong time?
What if I'm just wrong?
(I need to know, don't I?)
But what if?... the wind whispered...
What if that's not the true question?
What if this world is always always always
turning
toward the dawn,
toward the hope,
toward your own heart
and the whole and holy heart
of the whole world?
What if you get to witness this wild miracle?
Maybe even be part of it?
What if THAT? the wind whispered.
And She waited a while.
No, I said, stubborn and stuck.
Not now. Not yet.
The garden isn't ready, and anyway I'm terrible at weeding.
How could any self-respecting plant grow here?
What if the deer eat the azaleas and only the weeds thrive?
This bruised and tender heart
these memories sweet and sharp?
Yes, there are cracks in everything and of course that's how the light gets in
(and you know I love that song)
but the light that helps me find my way
shows me, too, the unsure path.
And what if I'm not yet steady
not yet ready?
(*Oh, and one tiny observation: Questions fill my head; they always have; they are my friends; they are my lamps; they are essential. Also, they get tangled and messy.)
What if? What if? What if? these questions ask, and they think of everything:
What if no one reads your words
or what if they read and they don't care
or what if they care but not enough (for this insatiable ego)?
What if this world gets stuck in fear?
What if the roof leaks
what if the battery dies
what if the smoke alarm goes off
and I can't make it stop?
What if I can't learn the new language
what if my hearing goes,
what if I lose my library card
what then?
What if we can't know how the story ends?
What if, what if, WHAT IF ??
What if those beautiful glimpses of hope
out there on the far horizon
What if they're only heat lightning and not the dawn of goodness;
what if the sun doesn't rise;
what if it rises but we're not paying attention?
And the wind listened. And then She got quiet. and then She howled:
Consider this! the Spirit sang –
What if the what ifs are pointing in all the wrong directions?
What if we're bracing ourselves for the Bad Scary Thang
and
What if we're what-if-ing and we miss the Beautiful Wondrous Goodness
opening its heart and arms just for us,
just for all of us?
What if, just for a minute
just for a moment
just to see what happens...
What if today
we welcome the possible?
What if today, we smile first and see if that stranger
(oh wait, maybe that's my neighbor)
smiles back?
What if, just for today,
just to test it out
just to try it on
what if today you and I
open our fragile frightened
fierce hearts
the tiniest little bit?
That's how the light gets in
and that's how the light
gets out again
too
and that's how it shines again, dear one.
That's how the light shines again.
What if we choose the light?
What if?
Yes!